


My Heart Soars

by Pantton_Sandacers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, tags will be updated with each chapter, then lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-05-27 03:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantton_Sandacers/pseuds/Pantton_Sandacers
Summary: Logan and Patton have been internet friends since they were 14, and after dating for years, they decide to get married, planning to meet each other in real life for the first time as they stand at the altar together.





	1. The Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> I’m taking a short break from MFAS to write this fic because I came up with a plot idea and my friend Kay really helped me expand on it. I couldn’t do this fic without them and I’d like to thank them for all their help!

New Messages 10:39 pm

Patty cake <3: I just got the package you sent! I haven’t opened it yet!

Logi Bear: I’m glad it was delivered safely, are you able to video chat? There’s something I need to talk to you about.

Patty cake <3: Sure, honey bee! 

10:40 pm: Logi Bear has started a call 

“Hey, honey!” Patton grinned as he greeted his boyfriend.

“Hello, dear,” Logan couldn’t help but smile as he saw Patton’s happy face, relaxing slightly from his tense state.

“What was it you wanted to talk to me about, Honey Bee?” Patton tilted his head to the side, a smile on his face that was nothing but sweet.

Logan cleared his throat, “Well, I just wanted to say that… we’ve known each other for about 12 years now-” Logan chuckled, “I’ll still never forget the day we met,” he smiled fondly as he reminisced, sidetracking himself.

Patton grinned, “Yeah, I still remember the day you joined my lgbtqia+ server,” Patton chuckled, “I remember thinking how cute you were the first time you sent a selfie.”

Logan blushed, “That’s funny, I remember thinking something very similar the first time I saw a photo of you,” he smirked, and it was Patton’s turn to blush.

“Awww! You’re too sweet, Lo, but what was it you were trying to say?”

“Oh, right. Well, we’ve known each other for about 12 years, and we’ve been dating for almost 7, and our 7th anniversary is approaching, and, well. I um…” he took a deep breath, “I wanted to make sure it was special, so…just a moment, dear.”

“Okay?” Patton was a little confused, but waited as Logan adjusted his computer screen to view the floor slightly. Patton was about to ask what was going on when he saw Logan bend down on one knee and ask Patton to open his package. Realization dawned on him and he gasped as he found a small engagement ring inside.

“Patton Sanders, you are the most important person to me, and I love you with all my heart, I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you’ll let me. Patton Sanders, will you marry me?”

Patton’s eyes were filling with tears, “Yes, oh my gosh, yes, Logan! I love you so much, and I would love to be your husband!”

Logan grinned, “I’m so happy to hear that Patton, I love you too.”

Patton slid the engagement ring on his finger and for the rest of the night the two discussed and planned out their wedding excitedly.


	2. Morning Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Patton talk on video chat over breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is Really short but I can assure you the next chapters will be Much longer! :D  
> Special thanks to @crownedhowell for helping me out with this fic!

The day had arrived and Patton and Logan were video chatting over breakfast. Well- as Patton ate breakfast, Logan was still lying in bed- tired, but wanting to talk to Patton more than sleep.

“How much time to do you have before you need to leave for the airport?” Logan asked.

“I’ve got about,” Patton checked his watch, “half an hour or so… I still can’t believe I’m gonna finally meet you in real life!”

Logan grinned, “Walking down the aisle to marry each other no less,” he chuckled, “have you packed everything you need for the trip?”

Patton smiled at Logan’s cautious nature, “Yes, honey, I packed everything, though I couldn’t find one thing, I think someone might’ve stolen it…” Patton trailed off with a small smile on his face.

“Stolen?” Logan immediately went into his ‘protective mode’, “What did they steal?”

Patton grinned at Logan, “My heart,” he giggled as Logan blushed and rolled his eyes, hiding a grin behind his hand, “You’re a sap.”

“You are too,” Patton smiled, “It’s one of the things I love about you.”

Logan blushed deeper, “I love you, Patton.”

Patton grinned, “I love you too, Logan.”

The two continued their conversation, talking until the very last minute, the last message Patton sent being,“On the way <3”.


	3. The Plane Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: This chapter takes place on a crashing plane, descriptions of a crashing plane, character injury, implied character death (semi-graphic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I encourage you to read the warnings on this chapter before reading, nothing is too graphic, but I don’t want anyone to get accidentally triggered. Also, I realize this chapter is quite short, but I promise the next one will be longer. (I know I promised that last time but I thought this chapter was longer than it actually was, whoops)

Loud beeps and flashing red lights pulled Patton from his dream of a picnic with Logan. His eyes snapped open, gasping as he jolted awake.

Alarms blared throughout the vessel, warning lights bouncing off every surface as the plane shook. Oxygen masks dangled from the roof as passengers cried out, frantically trying to grab their oxygen masks and message their loved ones-

_ “Logan!” _ Patton gasped, fumbling for his phone.

“Logan, I want you to know that I love you, so much. You mean the world to me and I’m so happy we’re together. I love you with all my heart, my love. <3”

The message wouldn’t go through, and even if it had, Logan would be none the wiser until he’d woken up from his dreams at home of walking through a field of flowers with Patton.

Tears filled Patton’s eyes as he shoved his phone back into his pocket, frantically reaching for his oxygen mask. He struggled with his seatbelt, finally unlocking it- just as the plane slowly stopped shaking. 

Everything was still and everyone let out sighs of relief mixed with anxious laughter, smiling. 

Suddenly everyone was flung to the back of the plane as it began to fall 35 thousand feet.

Patton’s head slammed into the back wall, the world getting blacker and dizzier by the second. His last thought was of Logan- the man he loved, and how he would deal with the death of his husband to be.


	4. The News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan hears the news on his TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this chapter! I couldn't upload last week cause I was at camp.  
> Warnings: death mentions, plane crash mention

About 2 hours had passed since Patton’s flight took off and Logan was getting ready to head to the chapel. The news ran on the tv in the background as he straightened his suit jacket.

A million thoughts were already racing through his head,  _ ‘Is the band set up? Are the caterers ready? What if Patton’s flight gets delayed and he doesn’t arrive on time? What if-’ _

_ “Breaking News” _ the tv blared, Logan flinched at the sudden noise, turning to face the tv as he tied his bowtie, unaware of the tragic news he was about to hear.  


_ “Flight FL24601 has reportedly crashed just outside of…”  _

Logan felt frozen. He couldn’t move, his mind going into overdrive as it tried to process everything he was hearing.

_ ‘Crashed? No, that couldn’t be… but, that was Patton’s flight number, wasn’t it?’  _ Logan thought to himself,  _ ‘Yes, that was Patton’s flight, he was ecstatic he got a flight with a number that’s a Le Mis reference, remember?'  _ and Logan did remember, and he  _ would  _ remember, all too well.

He raced to sit in front of the tv, quickly scanning the screen for any signs of survivors… or casualties, intently listening to every word of the report.

_ “There is no list of unharmed passengers at this time, _though there are several unidentified or missing bodies still at the site of the crash._ Casualties include: Marissa Adams, Jordan Adkins, Alex Crawford…” _

Logan hoped and prayed that _one name_ wouldn't be said, that by some miracle the love of his life was alive.

_ “Mike Edwards, Katie Johnson, Patton Sanders, Kennedy Williams,-”  _

The entire world stopped, everything turned grey as the news reporter read off Patton’s name. Tears Logan didn’t realize he’d been holding in suddenly streamed down his face as he remained stiff, shock setting in. He could only blink at the screen, his mind replaying the words in his mind  _ ‘Casualties, Patton Sanders’. _

Logan couldn’t-  _ wouldn’t _ believe this. It couldn’t be. No. He was supposed to have a happy ending.  _ Patton _ was supposed to have a happy ending, not- not this.  _ Anything  _ but this.

Logan wanted to punch someone, he wanted to hurt the force of nature that hurt his love, but he knew doing that would be futile.

Maybe if he got to the scene of the crash really quickly he could save him- he had spare money, he could pay the paramedics to take the best care of Patton and get him to the nearest hospital, then they might be able to revive him! No! Logan, don’t be ridiculous. He’s  _ dead _ … there’s nothing more to be done.

Logan broke down as sobs wracked his body, and he curled in on himself, the love of his life, gone like _that_. 

__Life is such a fragile thing to slip through our fingers as so.  
One moment it’s there, another it’s gone, so easily falling apart.  
As easy to squash as sand on the beach, collecting between our toes.  
It’s truly a gift that, when no more, leaves a hole in our hearts.


	5. After the Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the crash of Patton's flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's after midnight in my time zone, so I'm posing the chapter way earlier than I usually do.  
> TW: the aftermath of a plane crash, character injury, but vague descriptions of it, so nothing too graphic

Everything smelled like dirt…  and tasted like it too, but Patton was too exhausted to care. He couldn’t will his muscles to move- and it was a good thing he didn’t, otherwise, he probably would’ve dislocated them further. 

Distant voices registered somewhere in his mind, a conversation of sorts.

“Did you find everyone?”

“We think so, it’s probably safe to start cleaning up now..”

“Alright, let’s start with that big wing over there, it looks like it barely survived the explosion and might fall apart soon.”

Somewhere in Patton’s mind he recognized movement above him, but he was in such overwhelming pain he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Hey! We found another over here!”

“You did? Lemme take a look at ‘em.”

“He was underneath the wing, good thing we moved it when we did.”

“Sure is, he looks like he might not make it. Let’s at least take him to the ER.”

“You sure he’s not already dead?”

An annoyed groan left Patton’s throat to signify that he was, in fact,  _ not  _ dead.

“Guess that answers that question.. Jerry! Bring a stretcher over here! We found another!”

One of the two leaned down next to Patton and tried to reassure him that they were going to get him safe and taken care of, but Patton wasn’t sure he believed them.

While the team of crew members carried him onto a stretcher and into an ambulance, Patton’s mind could only think of Logan and whether or not he’d be alive to see him again, and he prayed he would.


	6. The News (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan hears an update on the crash of Patton's flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week I’m going to be posting a oneshot, so no update for this fic next week, just to let you know in advance.  
> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of a plane crash, mentions of death,

An hour had passed since Logan heard the news and he couldn’t bring himself to leave his spot on the floor; lying down, eyes closed as he tried to even his breathing and clear his mind still.

More tears slipped from Logan's eyes as he heard the tv again, a distant noise in his mind.

_ “Update on the crash of flight FL24601. Several passengers previously marked as casualties have been found alive.” _

Logan’s breath caught in his throat, and he sat up immediately, scanning the screen for any sign Patton survived.

_ “Unfortunately no one from the flight came out unharmed, all injured passengers are being taken to St. Thomas' Hospital-” _

Logan scribbled the hospital name on a scrap piece of paper, rushing to grab his car keys as a field reporter spoke.

_ “Many injured passengers are rapidly declining in health, it truly is a tragedy.” _

Logan shut the tv off, putting the directions in his phone and leaving the radio in his car on a news station to hear updates. 

Logically, he knew there was a chance Patton was already dead and he would get to the hospital only to be met with disappointment, but he  _ had  _ to try. And he would try as many times as it took if it meant he had a chance of seeing Patton, even if it was only for one last time.


	7. The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan goes to the hospital in hopes of finding Patton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I don't know how hospitals work so this chapter might not be accurate to real-life.  
> TW: hospitals, mentions of surgery, vague use of anesthetics (I hope i spelled that right) in the first paragraph of the chapter, but it's easily skippable.

Dizziness surrounded Patton as he was rushed down the hall into a dark room. He slowly blinked to life, mumbling something quickly before he felt a mask go over his face. He mumbled in protest before he grew sleepier and drifted off again, faintly hearing a voice mention something about “surgery.”

~*~   


The hospital doors burst open as Logan raced to the receptionist, “Do you have a room number for Patton Sanders?”

“Umm, lemme check… no, sorry I can’t seem to find a room number for him.”

Logan’s shoulders sagged, he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“Oh, he’s in surgery right now, when he’s out of surgery he’ll be sent to room… A113”

Logan sighed in relief, thanking God Patton was alive, “Thank you, where is the waiting area for surgery?” 

“What’s your relationship to the patient?”

“I’m his fian- husband,” Only family members could visit patients typically in hospitals, and it really didn’t matter that they weren’t  _ technically  _ married yet, being fiances on the used-to-be day of their wedding was close enough to being husbands.

“Alright, the waiting area is down that hall, two lefts, then a right.”

Logan thanked the receptionist before following her directions. Finding himself sitting in an uncomfortable chair outside a closed door, no one coming in and no one coming out. He sighed, pulling out his phone to update his friends and family on the situation.

~*~

Not long after Logan arrived a swarm of doctors and nurses left the room, pushing a stretcher with them. Logan stood to get a glimpse of the patient, but he couldn’t see through all the doctors. He huffed, turning to the doctor that left the room last, “That was Patton Sanders, correct?”

She nodded, “Yes, and you are?”

“I’m his husband, Logan Sanders.”

“Ah,” she nodded, “I assume you would like to know how the surgery went?”

“Please. This morning they announced him as dead, and that was quite the scare,” Logan chuckled awkwardly, fear trembling behind his voice.

She nodded sympathetically, “That sounds awful, I’m so sorry.”

Logan nodded, “the results?”

“Ah, yes,” the doctor turned to her notes and began reading, “His body was discovered under a wing of a plane, he was half-unconscious for most of the way to the hospital, and-”

Logan listened to all the injuries, procedures they performed, and statistics the doctor listed off, committing them to memory so he would know exactly what Patton was going through, and be able to research and learn how best to help him.

“Thank you, when can I visit him?”

“He’s recovering from the surgery right now, in about… 3 hours you should be able to visit him by then.”

“Okay thank you, where can I wait for him?”

Logan was directed to a new waiting area and was left to sit in another uncomfortable hospital chair. In the meantime, he pulled out his phone and began to research all the injuries Patton had, and how they should be properly taken care of. 

Even if Logan couldn’t visit Patton right at that moment, he was going to try to take care of him in any way he could.


	8. Logan Meets Patton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan Meets Patton at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left.  
> Warnings: hospitals, implied death.

Eventually, the door to Patton’s room opened and a nurse walked out. Logan hastily stood from his seat, “Excuse me.”

The doctor turned around, “Yes?”

“May I see Patton? I’m his husband.”

The nurse nodded, “He’s asleep now, but you can visit him.”

“Thank you,” Logan nodded before entering the room, his heart stopped when he saw Patton lying unconscious in the hospital bed. Even though the monitor beeps signified he was alive, Logan was still relieved to see the slow rise and fall of Patton’s chest as he breathed.

Logan pulled up a chair next to Patton’s hospital bed as his eyes filled with tears of relief at Patton being alive, and fear of losing him again. Logan was grateful they were alone as he broke down and sobbed into his hands.

He sniffled as he gently held his partner’s hand, tears tracks streaming down his face, he gently placed a kiss on the back of his love’s hand. He closed his eyes, breathing to calm himself, and when he’d relaxed, he took in the sight of Patton’s face in person for the first time.

He looked absolutely gorgeous, soft brown locks curved around a face dotted with freckles, and even with all the scratches and band-aids, he still looked adorable as ever. Logan could only pray he would get to see those beautiful blue eyes open and gaze upon him in person for the first time.

Logan rest his head on the edge of Patton’s hospital bed, gazing up at the love of his life, it had been an emotional, exhausting day for Logan, but he didn’t realize how tired he was in that moment. He slowly closed his eyes “just for a few minutes” he told himself, but before he knew it he was lulled to sleep by the steady beeping of Patton’s pulse on the monitor.

Ironically, that pulse monitor would wake Logan up an hour later, but there would be no steady beeping, only a long, continuous beep. Pulling Logan out of his dreams and into a nightmare he prayed would never come true. 

_Though life goes on, as do we all, and wounds eventually heal,  
Scars fresh on the heart can open again from receiving familiar blows.  
But the pain can ground us through all the chaos of emotions that we feel,  
_ _A Reminder of the limit of our control, and how little we really know._


	9. Patton Meets Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton Meets Logan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has been so much fun to write and see everyone's reactions to! I won't be able to keep up the whole 'updating once every week' thing after this week because the school year is starting for me and I don't think I'll be able to update weekly. (not to mention I have Serious writers block on the next chapter of Messages From A Stranger)  
> TW: Hospitals, amnesia, memory loss.

A pinching pressure on his finger woke Patton from his slumber. Frowning slightly, he fumbled with the device on his hand, pushing it off completely before closing his eyes, and beginning to drift off to sleep again.

~*~ 

The feeling of tears on his skin and a force gripping his hand woke Patton again. As he slowly blinked awake he processed the presence of a handsome stranger sobbing next to him. Somewhere in Patton’s mind he registered the stranger’s voice as a familiar sound- but he wasn’t sure why.

“Um, hi,” Patton greeted, still waking up

The stranger’s head shot up and they stared at Patton with hopeful but disbelieving eyes, “Oh thank God you’re alive! I was terrified I’d lost you again.”

“What do you mean?” Patton asked as the other cried into his hand.

“Th- the pulse oximeter, the beeping machine that shows your pulse, it went flat. I- I thought,” the stranger stopped themself on a sob.

Patton tilted his head in confusion, “Oh, was that the thing that was pinching my finger? I took it off cause it was annoying me. Sorry to scare you like that.”

The stranger chuckled through their tears, “I’m just so glad you’re alive, Patton.”

Patton’s mind was barely able to recognize the name as his own, “Patton… yeah, that’s my name.”

The other looked at Patton in confusion mixed with nervous laughter, “Yes,, and I’m Logan.”

“Logan…” Patton mused, “Your name sounds familiar, do I know you? Sorry, I’m terrible with names and faces.”

Logan froze, his eyes widening in fear, “P-Patton… if this is a joke it isn’t funny... please.”

Patton sincerely apologized, “I’m sorry, I can’t think of how I know you.”

Tears spilled from Logan’s eyes, he couldn’t lose Patton, not again. He  _ had  _ to make him remember, “Do you know how you ended up in the hospital?” his voice was shaking, but he was fighting to keep himself together.

“Um…” Patton thought for a moment, “There was… a plane. And,” Patton looked at his body and examined all the injuries he had, trying to put something together, “I must have been hurt pretty badly to end up in the hospital, I’m guessing it was a plane crash?”

Logan nodded, “Do you think you might have hit your head during the crash? Could you have possibly lost some memory?” he was trying to remain neutral in the things he was suggesting, not telling Patton anything specifically- he needed Patton to remember on his own.

“Well…” Patton tried to recall his memories, but he realized his mind was blank. He sighed, “I think I might have,, but I don’t want to forget the person that I was! Or, am!”

“I know, I don’t want you to forget who you are either, Patton,” Logan was frantic, though he hid it well. He needed to show Patton something,  _ do  _ something that would help him remember. He spotted Patton’s engagement ring on a tray, it must have been taken off before his surgery. Logan grabbed the ring and hid it in his hand before adjusting Patton’s hospital bed slowly.

Patton was a little surprised at the sudden movement, “Logan, what are you doing?”

“I’m adjusting your hospital bed so you will be able to see me when I do something in a bit.”

“O,,kay??” Patton was a bit confused, then Logan stood before him, hands behind his back.

“Patton, I’m going to attempt to reenact a moment that I hope will spark your memory.”

“Alrighty then,” Patton gave Logan a confused look as he saw him kneel to the ground before him, but a memory flashed in his mind as Logan began to speak.

Logan took in a breath as he pulled out the ring from behind his back, “Patton Sanders, you are the most important person to me, and I love you with all my heart, I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you’ll let me. Patton Sanders, will you-”

“Wait! You didn’t have the ring in your hand when you proposed to me, Logan! You sent it to me and asked me to open the package before you began your speech…” Patton realized he what he’d said, “oh my gosh…  _ you’re gonna be my husband?! _ ” he gasped, more in shock at remembering than disbelief.

Tears brimmed at Logan’s eyes, and he smiled as he set the ring back on the tray, “Yes, and you’re going to be _my_ husband. I’m so happy you remember, love,” tears streamed down Logan’s face as he sobbed in relief. For right now, the love of his life was alive and with him. And that’s all he ever wanted.

Patton smiled sadly at Logan, lightly tugging him closer by his arms and gently wiping the tears off Logan’s face. After a moment of staring into each other's eyes, Patton cupped Logan’s face and pulled him in for their first kiss. 

If Patton thought Logan’s proposal made his heart beat fast, that was nothing compared to this, the soft touch of their lips warmed his chest and brought the widest smile to his face.

Logan pulled away shortly, smiling, “I wanted to kiss you longer but the pulse oximeter started beeping faster than the average heart rate, I didn’t want to cause you any further health problems.”

Patton smiled, running a thumb over Logan’s cheek, “Well, what can I say? When I’m with you, my heart soars.”

Logan chuckled nervously, “I think, at least for a good while, you’ve done enough soaring, my heart. Right now I’m happy just to be with you.”

"I'm happy to be with you too," Patton smiled and kissed Logan’s nose, making him blush before he moved closer and the two connected their lips again.

~The End~


End file.
